All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
