it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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