just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
