she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
