Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
