It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
