And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
