I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
