It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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