Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
