belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
