I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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