party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
