hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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