Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
