We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
