Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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