Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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