She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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