Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
