i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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