singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize