we have pet lesbian snakes
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
