I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
