Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
