What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
