you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
