I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
