I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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