1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
