Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
