I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
