Sry I called you an 8
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
