Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
