Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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