he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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