So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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