East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
