3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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