you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
