I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
