absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
