so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
