he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
