I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize