I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Let's paint friendship bongs
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
