You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
