Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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