I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
