reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
