She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
