you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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