Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dear god my vagina.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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