Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize