Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
