I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
