mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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