my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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